Last night, a few more boys snuck away to join Jack's tribe. They think I don't know what they are thinking, but I have to admit, the prospect of meat is tempting. It has been so long since we have had a truly filling meal. I think if I wasn't chief, I may have gone too, but I can't be thinking like that. Jack and his rowdy group of boys are causing chaos. Jack doesn't care about rules or anything any more. All he has left is his obsession with the beast.
In England, I grew up constantly being pestered about my manners. My parents always said to me, "say please". The teachers all told me to always say "sir". There were always rules, and I always followed them. We would spend time learning how to behave in front of adults, how to dress like proper English boys. Oh if only they could see us now... All the things that used to be important only make me laugh. None of that is important now, and quite useless. They tried to make us 'proper' and now, we are like animals. I am dirty and mentally exhausted. All the other boys feel the same, none of us know what clean feels like. Our old lives seem so easy and simple, like a dream compared to right now. I don't know how long I can hold myself together. Everyday, I have this feeling of dread. The expression on the other boys faces, have almost caused me to break down. They look up to me for and answer or reinsurance that everything is going to be okay, but I have nothing to say to them.
I remember when I first met Piggy and we found that conch. The first time I blew it, all the boys came from all directions. Now, I don't think even half of the boys would answer my call. I wonder what went wrong? We did everything we were suppose to but it didn't end up the way I thought it it would. We have split among ourselves and we are no longer working together.
Piggy seems to still think that we can still continue as things were before. We moved the fire from the mountain to the beach a couple of days ago but that only gave myself a distraction. I try to hold on to that last bit of hope, but my grip is slipping. Right now, it is morning, the sun just rose but the heat has already set in. I am exhausted just thinking of the day that I have a head of me. I just have to keep trying and remember that we will be rescued. However when, will that be, I have no idea.
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Ralph is one of the main characters in this novel. He was the first character introduced and the last mentioned. Ralph was the leader until Jack ran away to create his own tribe. After that, Ralph slowly lost his control over the situation on the island. Piggy was Ralph's closest confidant and always supported Ralph even when Ralph did not always support Piggy's ideas.
This entry is from the middle of the novel, when things begin to fall apart. As mentioned in the journal, many of the boys have left to join Jack and Ralph is starting to loose hope. I think at this point, Ralph started to have conflicting thought within himself. At the beginning, he was so sure of everything and that was why all the boys trusted him. Now you can see that he sees that something went wrong. He is starting to reflect on what went wrong but ha can't really figure it out. He was suppose to lead the boys but he had no idea which direction to lead.
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